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MRCastles advice to the OP was to "BUILD" his social circle. I interpret that as saying to expand or increase ones social circle to include female friends as well as people who have females as friends of theirs..
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When it comes to your relationship with your girlfriend, he wants both you and your GF to know that he is in charge, and that he sets the rules. The fact that she is seeing someone that has threatened you with physical violence, is unacceptable. You need to have her end all contact with the OM or you will end all contact with her. If you are afraid to do this because of a fear of the OM, then just break if off with her and do not look back. Frankly, based on what you have told us about her, it just may not be worth fighting with the OM over her..